17 thoughts on “My Boyfriend’s an American, Should I Dump Him?

  1. Reblogged this on U.S. Persons Abroad – Members of a Unique Tax, Form and Penalty Club and commented:

    This is an issue that is going to become more and more relevant. See also my collection of posts on the “FBAR Marriage”.
    Probably the answer to the question is yes.


  2. If your boyfriend insists on having joint accounts, and filing joint tax forms, entangling your finances to where they need to be reported to the IRS, then you need to dump him.

    If he’s a decent enough guy, he should be doing what he can to protect you from his government, which means having separate accounts, ‘married filing separately’ on the 1040 forms, etc….

    Also, if he’s going to marry you, then he needs to accept the prospect of at some point, taking up foreign citizenship, and relinquishing his US citizenship, which would be better for both of you in the long run, if you two want to try and have a normal life together.


  3. You need to understand that if you marry him and he remains a U.S. citizen and dies before you (Americans abroad may live a long time but they are happier to die) that all of his estate CANNOT pass to you (because you are not American). If you marry him you are marrying property of the U.S. government. His first obligation is to them. You are already complaining about his thinking about his “master” too much with his worry about FBAR and FATCA.

    Dump him now.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. If your US citizen husband considers his first obligation to the US government, and not to you, his spouse, then why should you accept being treated as second best?

    I am a US citizen, living in Canada, and married to a Canadian. However, I have also recognized long ago that the US has left me before I’ve left the US, and that is another reason why I chose to emigrate to Canada.

    Do I worry about things like FATCA and FBAR? Sure I do, but what is most important to know here, is that my wife doesn’t have to. This is because….

    1. We have no joint accounts, nor any joint financial interests anywhere.
    2. I file ‘married filing separately’ on my 1040 forms, and write her down as an NRA.

    By doing this, not only do I lose all of my deductions as a US taxpayer as punishment for not getting her to file joint with me, I also keep her out of reach of the IRS in every way possible. This is the price I pay to be a good husband, but this is the price I’m more than willing to pay to preserve the marriage.

    Ultimately, in order for my wife and I to have a normal banking relationship, as well as a normal relationship with each other in general, sooner or later, I will have to relinquish my US citizenship. I have no problem with this, either.

    In a few months, I’ll be applying for Canadian citizenship, and once I earn my citizenship certificate, I will set up an appointment with a US consulate and notify them that I have relinquished US citizenship upon acquiring Canadian citizenship.

    Only a fool leaves a good marriage. Especially for blind patriotism and tax chattel slavery. Meanwhile, I have zero desire to live in the US again. Also, if the ‘greatest country in the world’ sees fit to demand through policy that I have to make a choice between my spouse, and my country, then how can it truly be the greatest country in the world? The simple and self evident answer to that question, is that it is not the greatest country in the world, and that I would argue that it is arrogant, narcissistic, and morally bankrupt, based on this issue alone.

    My family left stateside will likely never understand my decision. Meanwhile, the homelanders there will see me as a heretic, and as yet another tax cheating scapegoat for all of their problems, but I don’t care anymore. By both mind and body, I’ve already expatriated, and all that is left now is the paperwork.


    1. No. They’re not. Oh, they can talk a good game about the ‘sanctity of marriage’ all they want, but from my point of view, it’s a cynical, and hypocritical load of horseshit that has no basis in reality. The only reason why the ‘sanctity of marriage’ tripe is even used over there, is in pursuit of a far right, homophobic agenda.

      Besides, more than half of marriages over there end in divorce. I think it’s safe to say that nearly no one cares about the sanctity of anything, despite what they may say otherwise.


    2. As RenounceUSCitizenship stated, the US Government treats it’s ‘US persons’ as property. Not as people.

      This treatment doesn’t just fall on US citizens, but also green card holders, and they will even try to place its taint on foreign spouses of US persons as well.

      Therefore, if a prospective foreign spouse is dating a US person, and that US person is accepting the concept that he is US government property, then either the foreign spouse will have to accept likewise the concept of being property to the same government, or else said spouse does NOT marry the US person,

      What is saddest for Americans is that most of them will never even realize they’re actually property, and that is because you don’t get to see the truth until you actually start living outside the country. Think about it for a minute, and then ask yourself why they hammer in words and concepts such as freedom, liberty, American exceptionalism, etc…. in their indoctrination. Well, it’s really hard to see the chains around your neck if you believe you are free, yes?


  5. @Bubblebustin

    Dedication to spouse and family are “human values”. They form the foundation of “human society”. U.S. citizens are NOT humans they are PROPERTY. The U.S. maintains a “property interest” in them. This means that Americans (who accept their bondage) cannot form any relationship which could drive a wedge between their status as American property and their owner the USG.

    To consider “humans” and “Americans” in the same thought (unless the Americans break the bonds with the USG) is to engage in Orwellian “doublethink” today.

    Tomorrow it will be “thought crime”

    The day after it will be identified through “Form Crime”.

    The message is:

    Don’t marry an American.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I DID make that most stupid mistake of marrying a US citizen. That was almost 30 years ago, and after living on that plantation for about 30 months without being overly impressed, I brought my spouse to Canada. Now, all these years later, she has ZERO desire to ever live back there again…and actually gets a kick out of all that “patriotic shit” she was brought up with…..like how ridiculous it is that they think they’re the centre of the world etc….Canada is home.

    Then we learned about FATCA and FBAR. Any good will we had towards the USA has pretty much evaporated, and about 4 vacations that otherwise would have been there didn’t happen. We still visit a few times a year, but only to visit 90+ year old mother (in law). When she’s gone, that’ll be the end of it. Never the USA again! I like vacationing in Europe anyway.

    I also have 2 cousins who’ve moved to Canada (and high quality, educated people, a great loss to the USA). One is already arranging his Canadian citizenship and will drop that USA stuff ASAP once he’s got it, and the other one who has yet to realize what a detriment his citizenship is to him and his family (fortunately his European wife “accidentally” lost her Green card by moving here….we keep telling her how lucky she is) but I always feel like a schmuck telling the girl/boy friends of their children to “run like hell” from these US tainted people.

    If I knew what I knew today, as much as I love my wife, I would have turned and run….

    Oh, and another REALLY idiotic thing I did was to get a green card while I lived there. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!! Hindsight is 20/20.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Are any of us really free?? Seems if we move and make money the country we are citizens of want a cut of what we might make! I am finding that moving to another country doesnt always free us from everything. I guess if you want to move to a different country and are able to work or make some money in it then our citizenship country wants a slice! The only true way to sevor those ties and obligations is to relinquish your citizenship from your once home country and become a citizen plus pay taxes etc in the new country you are in. Marrying someone in there own country and living there it is easier to just become a citizen and know that you will only be returning to America, Canada,UK etc for visits. This has been a good discussion and look forward to reading more in the near future!!


    1. When speaking of freedom in that sense, the only true way to be free, is to live in anarchy. However, that also means you’re on your own, and if you have a grievance with someone, no matter how serious, there is no one to set it right but you. If that person you have a beef with is much more powerful, and has loyal followers, while you have nobody? Good luck.

      This is why I accept paying taxes, because in exchange, that means I have the reasonable expectation, nay, the RIGHT, to be able to walk down the street at night, and not be unduly harassed by anyone.

      In Canada, I can do that, something you can’t even do in the USA anymore, without being harassed by criminals, paranoid gun toting nuts, and even the police, that are supposed to serve and protect, because fear has taken over all of society. But God forbid we ever complain, because we’ll just get our asses kicked and thrown in jail for the effort. It’s not right for subjects to complain, you know, so who cares if we pay taxes? Who are we to demand better than to vote for either the left cheek, or the right cheek, of the same ass? After all, we are free, and people have died for your freedom! (if you believe the indoctrination that they feed you, of course)

      It’s all in the attitude. In the USA, you may be considered a citizen, but you’re really just a subject. That is how they justify things like FATCA, CBT, etc….then, they wave the flag, invent a scapegoat, and voila! Public support for their own slavery! Hey! If you can’t see the chains around your neck, and it’s so unpatriotic to leave the country anyway, then you’ll never know that you’re actually a prisoner in a psychological gaol.

      The homelanders may say, ‘Good riddance!” and “Hey! More people come in than leave anyway, so we don’t even need you!”

      I say, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” and “If you’re a good enough salesman, you can even sell slavery to the masses, and they will line up to your door to pay for it.”


  8. Trust me, his government is worse than his in-laws. They’ll pester you half to death wanting updates every year on what account balances you have. If you have children, they’ll be wanting to know their business. It’s like having a boyfriend with an abusive stalker. Dump him…RUN while you still can.


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